I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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