i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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