Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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