I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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