i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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