you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
