How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
