I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
