Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
