dude i'm inner monologue high
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
So I just went to clothing optional bar
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
