i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize