No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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