For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Randomize
