areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
