So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
