worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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