I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
