Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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