weddingsv make me drug and hornr
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
