I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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