Me. At least after what I've been through.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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