I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
