I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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