I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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