she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
