Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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