Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You can't just leave with hair like that
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
