You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
