Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My cat gives me a boner
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I think I just sharted jello shots
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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