i just had sex bonerless
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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