Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize