If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
