We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
