When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
