I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
