After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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