I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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