I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
