it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
