On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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