First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
