well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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