90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
