Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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