That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
