Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
