if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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