Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
