he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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