im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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